Flu and Soccer

Daniel started a little soccer class to keep him busy on Saturdays.

Love watching him try and be proud of himself. Now that I'm over the flu I'm back to the land of living. It's been a rough 2 weeks.

Busy

Just a bit busy caring for a very active baby

Who has food in his hair daily and hence a daily bath is a must

Who wants to do everything his big and also active brother does

Who is stinkin' adorable and I would rather hug on him than b on a computer

Sight words and reading...oh my

Handling a picky appetite on a nightly basis

....and working full time. It's been that kind of a week...month oh hell...the last year!

Rock On.....

An absolute truth
This quick read is an eye opener for any mom. Everything written there I have personally experienced and struggle with myself. Women can be so judgemental of each other and social media has made every one of us a total nut.
We all love our kids, how we parent will be as unique as there are many of us. Just like our kids reach milestones at different ages and have their unique personalities, we as parents also make choices to parent based on our values, culture and past experiences. No one way is right or wrong.
We're in the same crazy phase together.
I absolutely despise women that brag about their kids. My experience has shown that those that do will get a lesson in life that their perfect kids will turn into teenagers and games over then. More power to you if your kid ends up a genius, gets a scholarship and calls you every morning to check-in and talk about their life, but statistically if you have one perfect kid your second one or third or fourth will be the complete opposite. Hang on to your hats because karma can be a b&it$h. Be supportive and don't judge. Have your values and stick to them but just because someone doesn't share the same ones don't be a total douche about it.
You can still have a strong opinion about certain things, keep them to yourself until someone really thinks you have it all figured out and asks for your input.

  

Mother's Day Recap

Mother's Day, the one day I don't mind being the center of attention. I earned it, I've worked my ass off all year long and one day a year is not too much for the world to act like they appreciate me.

The funny thing about Mother's Day is, you're still a mom, on a holiday that you just want a damn break. My Sunday morning started bright and early, at freaking 5am.

Where is the liquor at?

The little guy is breaking his tooth and he wants everyone to know it. I staggered out of bed and brought him in with us, a daily routine that results in him passing out till at least 6:30, but guess what my friends? None of that happened on Mother's Day, he was up and ready to start his day. By 5:30 I was ready to cry, Ryan is not a morning person and so after some eye rolling and both of us grunting he took the baby and tried to put him back to sleep. At about 6:30 we realized none of that happy, perfect Mother's Day sh#$ was going to happen. Ry offered to get me some Starbucks to which I quickly replied "oh no, it's OK honey, I'm going to go get it". He looked confused but the 15 minutes of pure silence in the car holding a cup of hot coffee, still in pajamas (I put a jacket and pants over them, thank you) was the best moment of the morning. I cleared my head and as I walked back into the house I was ready to take it on once again.

I got the sweetest little gifts from my first born that he made at school. On Friday, he told me numerous times I could not open it but he gave me one clue about one gift, "you need to plant it". Oh the mystery.

By 8:30 we decided God was looking at me and telling me "dear child and your pathetic state, stay home and pray and don't even bother bringing those monsters to the house of God". So, we skipped church. I needed to regain my sanity. That dang cup of coffee only bought me an hour of peace.

By 9:15 we were running around the house trying to get everyone dressed and pack everything that we would need to meet my family for breakfast at 10am. I believe I did say "this is the worst Mother's Day ever" at one point as I was fighting Daniel to get dressed and Michael reached the whiniest state of his existence.

We were out the door by 9:50 and then waited 30 minutes to be seated. Things went surprisingly well after that.

We enjoyed my family, we laughed, the baby was passed around like a hot potato.

We came home and the best thing happened in the entire universe that turned my day around. I napped with the baby for 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! I watched The Breakfast Club as I dozed on and off. The duo (Ry and Daniel) watched Star Wars downstairs. All was well with the world.

Later on we met my in-laws in Long Grove for dinner. We didn't get there in time to shop but Ry and I were both depressed that the town seems to be barely surviving. Stores are closing, no one was at the restaurant, we are hopeful they will be there next year.

I didn't take any pictures with either side of the family but I did make out with these right before we left.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to Everyone.
Whether you're a mom yourself or have a mom, it's a beautiful day to celebrate or be celebrated.
I became a mom 5 years ago and my life has never been the same. There is exhaustion, less patience, less money, less time for yourself, less sleeping in, less thought put into the perfect decor for the house, but oh soooooo MUCH more love received and given than all the worldly possessions combined. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
My pumpkins rocked my world and I love the dance every single day. 

2008

2012

Left overs

This week is crazy busy for me, with preparations for Michael's baptism my picture taking and memory focusing has been pretty bad. To top that Michael has a bad cold and I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep a night.
But I just downloaded these pics from my mom's camera and thought they were super cute.

Check out mommy's glasses and a big cup of water in Daniel's basket.

3 generations

Me and my blessings

My mom and BABE. You can't tell baby's pant button was undone to fit that baby belly.

"Look at that turkey"

Michael and his Godmother

Old

That's all I have to say about how I feel this week. In the last 2 months I have felt joint pain like never before. I wake up sore and a hunched over. It takes a few minutes to get "straightened out" in the morning. I feel old.
Today my mom said I had make-up smeared under my eye, I went to look in the mirror and realized she was talking about my horrible dark circles. Stress, lack of sleep and running around like a nut with 2 sick kids will do that to any woman.
Postings have been few because I just can't take a picture or just don't feel like complaining on the blog (I guess I felt like complaining tonight). I'm sick of the weather but most of all I want to win the lotto. Ry and I talk about hiring a nanny in our mansion so that although I would care for the kids, when they had a melt down I would be able to get the hell out of the house. I missed zumba classes for reasons I can't remember but yesterday was because I was suctioning noses and carrying a baby on my hip for what felt like an entire day.
That's all I have to say about that.
I'm doing something about it though. I got a great recommendation for a chiropractor and me and the baby are going to see him Saturday. This guy supposedly cured Ryan's co-worker's daughter from colic. Crack me quick. SOLD!

 I did play puppets with Elmo, both boys enjoyed this. Elmo even joined playing Star Wars.

My hairstyle of choice nowadays; a ponytail

Cranky baby under kitchen fan, a daily routine.

Happy Valentine's Day

A heart shaped donut for breakfast. "Who is your sweetheart Daniel", "Mommy" Sweet years.

"Who is your sweetheart Michael", "Ahhgoooo"



My hearts!!!!!



Things not to say

to a working mom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/devon-corneal/what-not-to-say-to-a-working-mom_b_2566952.html)

Recently, Amy Shearn shared a list of things not to say to stay-at-home moms. She could have just cited anything Elizabeth Wurtzel has written in the past year, but that would have been too easy. Instead, Shearn came up with a list that was funny and clever and pointed in all the right ways. Which got me thinking about questions or comments I've heard about being a working mom. I don't think anyone sets out to be rude or judgmental, but I've been surprised at what well-meaning and generally thoughtful people say to mothers who aren't staying home full-time with their children. There's a subtle hostility or judgment that comes through in some of these statements that makes me wish that everyone would, every so often, think before they speak.


(Before anyone freaks out, I completely and totally support stay-at-home moms. They work. They work hard. Their choices are valid and awesome and please stop glaring at me. There are days I envy them more than you know.)

Can't you afford to stay home?

Let's assume for a minute that I can't. Let's imagine I work to help pay the mortgage and buy groceries and send our kids to college. Where does this conversation go now? Awkward, right? Next thing you know, I'm going to be asking you how much your husband earns so you can stay home. Let's agree not to go there.

Then let's say I can afford to stay home. The question assumes the reason I work is entirely financial. Which is part of it, to be sure. If I could make money watching bad reality TV and doing yoga all day, I would. Since I can't, I work at a more traditional job -- but it's not all about the money. I value my education and the years I've devoted to my career. I think it is good for our boys to see me working outside our home so they know that a woman isn't confined to being a wife and a mother. I also know that some day our kids will be off at college or started on careers of their own and I want to keep a foot in the working world so when that time comes, I'm not staring at a big gap in my resume that makes it harder for me to get a job. I also like the equality that exists in my marriage because both my husband and I put money in the bank. That's just me. But this particular question devalues all of those considerations and, in turn, my choices. Please don't do that.

I'd give anything to get away from my kids for an entire day.

If you really mean it, I'm happy to help you polish your resume. You can be away from your kids all day, every day! Of course, along with that "freedom" you'll feel guilty about being away from them and will wonder if they're ok because they're home with a babysitter or in day care. Going to work every morning and waving to my kid from the upstairs bathroom window isn't a spa day. It's sort of like doing a triathalon. You start each day with a morning plunge into icy water, getting everyone to school/work then do an an eight-hour bike ride, all topped off with a half-marathon of dinner, homework, baths and bedtime. During your bike ride not only will you be expected to pedal hard, you'll also have to take phone calls from the school, the babysitter, and the doctor, respond to birthday party invitations, take a quick side trip to grab supplies for an art project, order groceries and a new pair of jeans and remember to return library books because it all needs to get done RIGHT NOW. If you're lucky, there's some wine left over in the fridge.

I'd miss my child too much to be away from him all day.

I know. I completely understand. You get over it. Because you have to.


The problem with this country today is that not enough moms are home raising their children.

I know! I couldn't agree more! Oh, wait. You're not advocating for paid parental leave, flexible work schedules or telecommuting, are you? You're not picketing in support for working parents (because, let's face it, some dads would like to be able to spend more time with their kids too) so they can make good choices for their families, right? You just want more moms to stay home. It's possible those families would be better off living under a cloud of financial or psychological stress to adhere to a traditional view of families, but I'm not buying it. If I see one more comment about how dual-earner families are undermining the very fabric of society I will lose my mind. Last I checked, no one in my family had shot anyone, stolen anything, cheated on a test, run a red light, or even so much as littered. Of course, I've been working all morning, so things may have changed since breakfast.

Why did you have kids only to let someone else raise them?

People have said this to me. People have said this to my friends. It's a good thing that I didn't have the power to incinerate them with my laser beam eyes. If I hear it again, I'll refer you to item no. 1 for the reasons I might work outside of my home. And then I'll just ask you to be a TAD LESS JUDGMENTAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I had Little Dude because every fiber of my being wanted to be a mother and we felt like our family was incomplete without another person in it. Loving and raising a child is not incompatible with having support to do that. We are grateful and proud to have wonderful people who help us -- from family to friends to teachers and babysitters. But make no mistake, my husband and I are raising our kids. We aren't home every day, but we are a presence in our kids' lives at every moment.

I don't know how you do it. It must be so hard.

It is. I don't know how I do it. But I don't think that's because I work, I think it's because parenting is hard whether you stay at home or go off to the office. I don't know how any of us do it. It's glorious and rewarding and full of love and it is the hardest thing I've ever done. Balancing kids with anything else, whether a paying job or running a household or finding time to watch Honey Boo Boo, is nearly impossible.

You must be so organized to be able to balance everything.

I have a love/hate reaction to this statement. At first, I bask in the affirmation. I believe I am organized. Then I remember -- I am one set of lost keys away from a meltdown. I have mismatched socks, my kid went to school with jelly on his face and I haven't exercised in a week. I have piles of books and clothes and god knows what else in my bedroom. I forgot a conference call yesterday and lost the planetarium permission slip. I let something slide every day. There is no balance. Only carefully controlled chaos. Pretty much like everyone else's life.

There's always time to work later, these early years are so precious.

All the years are precious. And why don't people say this to fathers?

You look exhausted.

Gee! Thanks! Wanna give me a day at the spa? And then watch my kid for me so I can relax? No? Then let's just pretend we can't see the bags under my eyes.

At least you treasure every minute you have with your son.

Well, maybe not all of them. Because sometimes Little Dude is a monster and I get home at the witching hour, just in time to force him to eat his carrots, make him brush his teeth and go to bed. Which, as any parent will tell you, is just the most relaxing time of day. This is why I keep a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge. Despite that, of course, I do treasure my time with my kids, but I have a hard time believing that would be different if I were home more.

Don't you worry you're missing out?

Every day. But then my son runs into my arms when I pick him up from school and climbs into my bed in the morning to tell me I'm the "best mommy ever," and I know it's going to be ok.

Everyone makes their own decisions so let's be supportive of each other ladies.
Have a great weekend balancing it all. :)

Perspective

Atypical

Well, the GI Dr. appointment went well, except nothing new was discovered, it was only confirmed that Michael has atypical colic. You see a typical colic would be only gas, my son is atypical because he's got poop issues, feeding issues and plain old irritable issues. His dosage for acid reflux was bumped up and he has been like a new baby. (knocking on wood) I was also told I need to first take care of myself and if this was 50 years ago I would be told to "have some Chardonnay, put some on my finger and give to baby and wait to see who passes out first". I liked this Dr. right away. Maybe he set this baby straight. I asked all my questions and even asked one more through the nurse while he was in with another patient.
He slept 6 hours straight last night, smiles more, farts more, talks more and that makes this mama happy.
Mama is also happy because she got to go get her hair done and bought new makeup to prepare for return to work. Thanks to my mother in law who stayed with the kids, handled the baby like a pro and gave me the gift of being away.OH yeah some cash too. She's paying for my sanity so I won't leave this crazy house and drive over the border.
We hope this "new baby" sticks around. I'm watching him now swinging away and smiling. 2 weeks ago the thought of a third baby made me say "hell no" but now, we'll see...If Ry is reading this he is probably saying "heck no". LOL. A little girl would fit well in this house but a third boy might push me over the edge. Ha!
Someone has found a new interest in building things. He loves Legos and my dear friend's son gave him 2 full bags of them. Of course he is building everything Star Wars. He keeps them a surprise until he finishes and then walks me into the room and says "surprise". Sweetness.

 This weekend a dentist appointment is on the calendar for me. I HATE THE DENTIST. I have canceled and rescheduled this appointment like 4 times.
We have friends coming over for a visit. I need to take more pics of baby for sure. He's getting shafted.
Have a great weekend!

Learn something new

These past 2 weeks have been close to the hardest two weeks of parenting that I have experienced. Close, because my first born not talking still stays as my number one obsession that lasted 2 years.
My second son is full of mystery. Just when we think we have it figured out or we are at the end of a rough period something else happens.
Since he's been 4 weeks old this house has been loud from about 6pm till 10pm. The screams range from an hour to two to even 3. That moved on to a full day of crankiness.
It's been so long that when I take a shower or fold laundry (in the basement) I think I hear him crying, only to emerge and it's quiet (very few times).
I have called my pediatrician so many times that I know all the nurse practitioners by name. They know all his symptoms, that seem to grow weekly.
At first I got answers such as "yes, this is very typical. At around week 3-4 they start to be fussy. It's all temporary. Do the following 3 things and it will be better"
Then, "yes, this is typical. It should end by 3 months. You just have to live through it and I promise you that you will have a new baby soon, space his feedings, let him cry a little, etc.". To which I replied "When is this new baby arriving because I'm ready".
Finally, after my last call today I got the answer of "Bring him in, we need to fix him".

You see, I tend to self diagnose a lot of things. I knew Daniel was a late talker even though everyone told me I was nuts. I can sense he is getting sick because he develops a large appetite right before he gets sick or his eyes get really glossy.
I diagnose my hubby's ailments all the time; sleep apnea, various skin problems. He loves my cold remedies. He says, "your combo that you gave me really made me feel better" or "get me the combo you usually do".
My combo is really choosing meds we have on hand and laying them out for him. We swear by Alka Seltzer Cold Plus, a ridiculous amount of vitamin C, Echinecea, some nasal decongestant and air borne. They can all be substituted by whatever you have in the house, except the alka seltzer.
I come from a family of worriers, my mom and sister visit the Dr. all the time. I'm considered the one that doesn't panic over stuff and wait too long to take my kids in. If you asked Ryan he would disagree.

BUT...

I have been tearing my hair out (pretty hard since my daily hair do is always a pony tail) with figuring what could be wrong with Michael. Why does he cry so hard all the time? Why is it getting difficult during feeding? I have invested at least $100 on bottles alone, trying different nipples, different brands, expensive and cheap. I even stopped breastfeeding temporarily just to give him formula because I think there is something wrong with my milk. I stopped eating certain things, NOTHING helped. Between swaddling and white noises my days/nights were a blur, hence the lack of posting anything interesting in the last month.
We were prescribed anti reflux medicine but without looking into his throat to truly know he had it, I didn't feel comfortable giving it to him twice a day. He hates taking it.
So, I am determined to get a handle on this before I go back to work (oh yeah scheduled next week) so two great grandmas won't be home with a miserable baby but most of all my baby has suffered enough.
Tomorrow we go to the Dr. to check his weight and take it from there. I'm hoping for a quicker ENT appt then I was able to make today (yes, I called one myself). The first appt is February 1st! Come on!!! I hope the Dr. can make a call or two to get this cute blue eyed boy in ASAP.
Daniel associates the baby with crying, me walking around the house saying shhhhhhhh or pumping.
I had to calm Michael down one time so I had to put my pump "stuff" on the side. I came back and Daniel's shirt was up and the bottles were on him. He said "mommy I'm pumping, I have boobies". Sweet boy!

So, that's what has been happening around here...lots of tears, yes me included, 3 boys that are all trying to keep it together and a mama that is trying not to lose the patience she has left.

Wish us luck and say a prayer or two for us, we need it.

Practice

I'm going back to work in 2 weeks!
It is my goal this week to get up after the last 5:30am feeding and start practicing getting ready and out the door by 7:20am.
As I type this Daniel is waving to me from his bedroom, he heard me and is up telling me "help me close the door because I want to see my pillow pal lights" (shows shapes on the ceiling). How does he sense I'm up? Perhaps the squeaky wood floors gives it away. The little one of course is starting to stir. This is what quiet sounds like in my house at 6:15am. Perhaps a 4:00am goal is more realistic for a completely quiet home.
I have mixed feelings about going back to work. In one moment I can't imagine a different routine than rolling out of bed, sometimes brushing my hair and running around all day like a nut, taking a hot shower at night only to rinse and repeat again the next day. But I do have visions of makeup, hair done, heals and adult conversation, oh how I miss adult conversation. I love my kids, to death, I do, but as I have told my mother in law and friends recently I was meant to be born in the time that I was because the 50s might have killed me. The pearls and pumps were cute just not in the kitchen. I like my me time, I like my independence and I like working. I do admire moms that stay home all day with their kids though.
(Insert 1 hour interruption here to feed baby, dress him and turn on a show for a 4 year old, serve his breakfast and get him dressed, put baby down for morning nap).
Now it's 7:30 and I'm royally screwed in 2 weeks.
Where was I?
Oh yes, admiring other stay at home moms. I'm happy they are happy but I know I want more of a balance. Getting to work from home twice a week is that balance. I get to be home 4 days in a row. When Tuesday morning rolls around I will be eager to get the hell out just like I was before.
Everyone is different, everyone finds their balance, if that is possible. Moms shouldn't judge other moms by the choices they make to obtain their own balance. No one lives in another person's shoes so they can't possibly understand.
I have enjoyed the last 10 weeks with my little ones. It was hectic, I cried a few times, it was loud and uncontrollable most of the time. I will remember it forever. Some days were so bad all I could say was "we are done with kids, just done". Then a good day would follow and I would think, gosh a little girl would be nice. Then, reality would set it again and I would think, nope, I don't need a little girl because that would mean she would have her own kids and I would be stuck listening to her bit*& about what I do to my mom.
Life is like that, each day is different and unpredictable. Ryan has been saying he's too old for little ones. He did the math and figured out he'll be 66 when Michael is 30 and that hit him. Like 66 is ancient or something. The first 3 months of a baby's life are the most trying ON THE PARENTS. I've been told that I'll get a new baby in a few weeks, just to wait. This is after I blew up everyone's inbox talking about colic and what the hell could I do. I got great advice and after a couple of calls to the Dr. and a few chats on FB the best advice I got was "honey it's temporary, it will pass, I PROMISE". It's getting better. I'm learning his cues and we're getting on a schedule.
In the midst of the chaos there are moments when I look at Daniel being sweet to his brother or the baby cooing with us and already getting "bigger" and I think it goes by so fast.
I can't wait to watch them grow and become men and I pray that by having two sons somehow will equal one daughter. Not that it guarantees a daughter wouldn't put me in a crappy nursing home but statistically boys are clueless when it comes to what a mom needs, there are exceptions and I hope my boys are that exception.
So, this has been a rambling of thoughts that have been going through my head.
I'm organizing pictures (OK I haven't even started) and will post many of my sweet peas soon.
Off to get ready this time for real. Someone is getting his 2 month shots today. :(

Summer nights

Our evenings during the summer have the same theme; parks, driveway fun, bikes, scooters, backyard, ice cream, repeat.
Thursday nights are a little more special as I started a little date night tradition with D. It really is a trip to the park but on Thursdays our park has cover bands playing and the atmosphere is just more grand. With tons of people hanging out while music fills the air it just makes it more special.

Belly at 23 weeks.

I'm sure you can make out the entire alphabet, he did it himself

Sunset on our date night

Grooving to the music while in line to the bouncy house

My favorite little guy